I briefy want to say I am sorry for not posting in a while. I have been very tied up with things in my life. Things have been good and things have been not so good but God has pulled me through and I am here. I give him thanks!!
These last few days I have thought on my past situations very detailed. I have felt like I slipped away from the presence of God. I thought outside of the box and said "I've been here before. I can feel it. I am not going back and I can not do this again." I know I have made mistakes. I know it when I see them and they are not hard to see. When you are born only to know certain things its hard to get over them or know otherwise. I grew up only having limited thoughts on things. It took me to the age of 17 to realize it. You can say you are done and it's not happening again. You can say it all you want to. But the key is you have to believe in it. You have to commit to it.
I swore up and down I wasn't going to look back. The Lord was with me and I felt it. I knew where he was taking me. I made a mistake. I looked back. I regret it. I was doing the right things in life and I was enjoying it but the Devil found me and won again. It's not that easy to be something for 5 years and totally change in 3 months. You can have all the presence of God more than anyone and it's still not that easy. When I looked back. I missed it and wanted to go back, but at the same time I was so glad that I left. I think that is what took the stronger part of me. I left.
I know I am not the brightest star in the sky, but I know I have the brightest star in my heart. Jesus Christ. No matter what goes on in my life I know he is there with me watching every move I make to lead me, to guide me, and tell me what the right things to do are. I may get weak in the process, which I believe I done, but when you get weak the Lord is only telling you that you are getting stronger. When you get weak and keep going that is when you know you are actually trying and not giving up because nothing worth fighting for is ever easy. You have to keep going. Do not give up or look back because I'm telling you it's not worth it. Once you accept the Lord into your heart you will never want to live for anything else for the rest of your life. You might think the opposite but the opposite is always false.
I am going to tell you that anything worth doing is going to be hard and you are most definately going to have weakness in you body. You have to keep moving. Do not let go. Even if it gets hard do not let go. Hold on and keep your head held high and look forwards not backwards. If you are going to commit to something, you are going to believe in it and not act as if it's a joke. If you do not ever take anything serious nothing will ever be serious. If you have faith anything is possible. Do not let the person next to you or in front of you or even behind you distract you from the great things you can cherish every day between you and the Lord. I'm telling you it is the most amazing feeling you will ever have. So make a goal. Hold on to it. Work on it. Work with it. Take pride in it. Look it everyday. Then, fulfill it.
God can work some amazing miracles. I have witnessed several. Don't pass up the opportunity. If you see one, take it. Do not think you can get it later or something. You never know when the last time is going to be the last time.
I know this was not one of the longest blogs I have typed up or one of the best. But, you know... I simply type what is coming straight from the heart and no matter how silly it looks or sounds I truly believe that is the best way to get something across. I do not try to re-word or fix or edit or anything. I just tell it how it is. This is me and that is that. Thank you for reading this blog.