Wednesday, April 6, 2011
To start off I would like to apologize for not updating my blog in a few days. I have been extremly busy with school work and family issues. It all paid off though because I got 11th Grade Student of the Month today, I made a 100 on my Geometry test today, and I made a 92 on my History test today (not normal at all and no I didn't cheat:)...) I have also been going to church on a normal basis for two weeks straight now. I can tell you it is an awesome feling to feel when the Lord's presence is running through your veins. Just for the fact that I had a very long, and in some cases exciting day today. I woke up this morning realizing that I was late for school but something told me not to panic about it. So I didn't. I got up, got ready, went to school and checked in at the office like there was nothing to it. Although I had to sign the morning detention list for tomrrow morning I still didn't let it get to me. I told myself that it was my fault I was late, there was nothing I could do about it so I might as well do it and get it over with. Walking down the hallway I said what is with me this morning? I was late to school for he first time ever, I got morning detention, and I'm not upset. I told myself that it was the power of the Lord. You know, sometimes I will go to school and cary a "fake smile on my face" but today I smiled all day and not one time did I ever consider it a fake one. I knew the Lord ws on my side and I knew there was nothing going to stop me from doing anything as long as he was there with me. After break at school we had our monthly assembly that we have once a month to discuss good and or bad things that have happened and the students and teacher of the month. I of course walk into the assembly late also but I didnt think too much about it. When they called out my name for the 11th Grade Student of the Month I have to say I was shocked. I got up walked over to recieve my award and I herd hands clapping and the voice of someone shouting my name. Now I am not a big fan of caring that much about the way other students act towards me or anyone else in school. If I get picked on I just let it slide. I get to lunch and find out that some other guy that thinks he is the hot stuff, screamed out that HE had the biggest crush on me during the assembly. I knew I was being made fun of but everytime it was brought up during school today a picture of God popped into my head and I said "Lord, forgive them." I am going to admitt that about one year ago I came out to everyone as being a homosexual and I was in a relationship for 9 months. You are probably saying Jordan, why are yo telling this on your blog? Well im telling you this because that is one thing that is wrong with teens and young adults these days. We act very immature about everythig in life so, why not just get right to the point and tell it how it is. There have been several occasions where I have got straight to the point and it is understood better because sometimes it will make you swallow your own throat. I was a homosexual and was loving every minute of it. Life was good. I was in a relationship, I had something to do on the weekends, and I thought nothing could get any better. When suddenly in these last few weeks the Lord touched me and told me that there was something better.Everyone thinks that is it just so funny to make fun of a gay man. You know what? It's not. Two very close friends of mine thought it was the best thing ever that I was gay. They expected nothing of me, treated me like crap, and didn't give me credit for anything. "This particular woman" thought that she also could make me do anything, tell me how she felt, and act like I had no emotions for anything. She thought she could run over me and do as she wished. She would give me advice I would work on it then she would say it wasn't good enough, or you can do better than that and she would do this over and over and over. Soon I realized that all she was doing was trying to mold me the way she wanted me to be. When I figured this out I said, No. It is not going to happen. Okay, what does boldness have to do with this message. I titled it Boldness because we need to be strong and stand up for what we know is right. We can not let someone pull us down because all you are doing is giving the other person just what they want. All day I said to myself to not let anyoe pull me down. When I came out last summer I started school and continued with not the first issue from anyone. And now that I have recently ended my relationship and drew closer to God, talked to him, spoke with him, and worked with him I have found my life to be simple. The funny thing is that I have herd more people talk about me since I have ended my realtionship and got right with God than I have herd since the beginning of the school year. Everyone says well you can't just go from being gay to being straight within the snap of fingers and I was like you are right. You can't just do that and everything be okay. It takes a lot of dedication with the Lord and patience, but as long as he is right there you can do anything however or whenever you would like to. But ask yourself, how many of you that say you can't "just do that" actually have a relationship with God? Think on that. WIth him anything is posible and that is how I was able to overcome just what I have been thorugh. No, the Lord is not done working on me. In fact he never will be done. But he has worked on me harder these last 2 weeks than he ever has in my entire life. He is the light and the way of everything. He can show you the way when you can't see. He can heal you when you are sick. He can do anything. He is Christ. -Simple. I never knew you coud grow towards God as much as I have. I really never did. I went to church tonight and asked the Lord to tell me something. Before I walked in the doors I sat in my car and prayed and asked God to send me a message that I could understand and see the light. Sure enough He did. I had never be so focused on a lesson on Wednesday Night church service than I ever had. He was right. We need to put everything to the side and look up and see just what the Lord has to offer because he is full of many blessings. I do realize that I might not be putting everything in the right order in this blog. But I think of it as a voice in my head because its like I have learned so much about Jesus Christ and I can't learn enougth about it. I listen to christian music in my car. I sing to the top of my lungs. I carry a huge smile on my fae for no reason ( A real one at that) I think to myself the Lord is real. He is here, and he is going to save me from this terrible misery. He is going to forgive me from my sin and give me awsome power. There is not anything going to stop me. Sometimes I wish Wednesday night Church Service was everynight. Because if it were I would be there from beginning to end every night. I really do not know, it's just like it is a craving, and now I can't get enought of it. Last week the Lesson was on the Taste Test. I was taught that night that if we do not taste anything we will never have a craving for it. Well, not saying I made a mistake, because I didn't, but I got a taste of the Lord. Now I have a craving for it. It's like a crazy addiction and I can't get enough of it. If you are not right with the Lord you need to do it, and you need to do it fast because it is not going to be here forever and if you miss that chance I am telling you, you are going to regret it. So please, go to church, praise the Lord, lift him up high and scream and shout like there is no tomorrow. Until you are saved and born again you have not the first clue on how good the Lord can be to you. I can not wait to see just what the Lord has in store for me but I am going to be patient and just wait. I will tell you now you might not think that no one can fix a problem you have or any issues you have but I thought that same thing. I thought there was no way that anyone could understand me or how I felt. I thought I could never be fixed. The Lord always has a purpose for everything he does to draw you closer to him. Mine was homosexuality, but I am no longer a homosexual and I do not care if anyone thinks different about me because I know I am not alone in this run and for that mater I will never be alone for the rest of my life. Thank God! I will praise him till the End! I really am not all that pleased with this blog tonight for some reason but I would love to hear your feedback because I know somwhere in here a great message will be delivered to someone. Thank you and God Bless!